


White Horse

by Larry_Darling0124



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Blowjobs, Bottom!Harry, Cheating, Eleanor finds out, F/M, Louis screws Harry, M/M, Niall is there for Harry, Smut, idiot!louis, one time Louis rides Harry, sad!harry, she's ticked, sprinkle of Narry, top!Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-12
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-20 22:04:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2444804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larry_Darling0124/pseuds/Larry_Darling0124
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry remembers meeting Louis. He remembers falling in love with him. He remembers all the hugs and kisses; remembers the tender touches. He remembers when Louis announced he had a new girlfriend. He remembers feeling his heart break. He remembers the weeks following and Louis still planting tender kisses to his skin. Harry realizes that this isn’t a fairytale and Louis isn’t – can’t be – his prince, so even though it kills him, he leaves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	White Horse

**Author's Note:**

> **PLEASE DO NOT COPY THIS STORY**

**“Say you’re sorry that face of an angel comes out just when you need it to…”**

“Oops!”

“Hi!”

They’re both breathing. They’re both staring. Harry thinks he’s never seen eyes so blue. Louis thinks he’s never seen eyes so green. And maybe it’s a little weird. They’re standing in the bathroom, staring at each other… one faucet running, a pair of hands under the water, and another pair of hands frozen mid shake. Slowly Harry comes back to reality and reaches over to grab some paper towels to dry his hands off. He watches as Louis finishes washing his hands and does the same.

“I’m Harry.” Harry smiles and holds out his hand.

“Louis.” Louis smiles back and shakes his hand.

Louis thinks maybe the air in the room got a little thicker because suddenly it’s a little harder to breathe. He’s still holding Harry’s hand and he realizes he’s just staring at him.

“Sorry…” Louis mutters pulling his hand away and giving Harry a sheepish look with a blush creeping up his neck.

Harry’s dimple shows as his smile grows and he stares at the cameral fringed boy. Had there been something to forgive he knows he would have forgiven him right then and there… how could you not forgive that face?

~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~

A year later, they’re best friends. Harry and Louis are as close as two friends can get. What one does the other does. Larry Stylinson has made its grand appearance as well. The other boys love to tease them about the bromance and playfully ask if there’s anything they’re hiding. The thing is, there’s not.

Louis and Harry laugh at the rumor and pretend like they’re in love when they’re doing an interview and they’re asked about the bromance. Of course, the more they pretend the more curious both of them get. They know the fans started shipping them together because of how close they are, but they’re curious about when the fans say Louis makes heart eyes at Harry or Harry stares longingly at Louis.

So that’s kinda how it started. They were curious and their curiosity got the better of them.

They were in their shared flat watching a film together after a day of interviews. Harry was cuddled into Louis’ side like always despite now being slightly taller. Louis had his arm wrapped around Harry’s shoulders, his fingers combing through the soft, luscious chocolate curls atop his head. The younger boy couldn’t help but hum happily and then let a little moan escape his lips when Louis gave his hair a playful tug.

Louis’ hand stopped moving suddenly and Harry froze, he hadn’t meant for that moan to come out. He slowly turned to look at Louis to see how he was reacting. The older boy was already staring at him and then their eyes met Harry couldn’t help the little gasp that left his lips. Louis’ eyes gave away that the moan had aroused him some and he was curious.

Before Harry really knew what was happening Louis moved in and locked their lips together carefully. Another gasp fell from Harry as he felt the warm press of Louis’ soft pink lips against his own; it’s was like fire coursing through his veins. Louis’ tongue darted out to swipe across Harry’s bottom lip and Harry’s mouth opened without a second thought. As soon as Louis’ tongue dipped in, however, and touched Harry’s sending an electric current through them both, they jerked away from each other.

“Lou…” Harry breathed out.

“Haz…” Louis replied suddenly looking guilty. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have done that!”

“Whoa! Why?” Harry asked slightly hurt.

“I… You’re straight, I’m straight… I’m sorry I was just so caught up…” Louis rambled on and Harry chuckled lightly.

“Louis, did you enjoy the kiss?” he asked with a shy smile.

“Y-Yes…” Louis stuttered out quietly with a little pout.

“Then you’re forgiven… as long as you do it again…” Harry smiled cheekily.

Louis’ shoulders slumped with relief and almost shyly he leaned in once more to capture Harry’s plump pink lips with his own.

~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~

The first time it happened Harry had been absolutely crushed. Louis had gone out with Zayn and gotten a bit too drunk and ended up pressed against the bathroom wall with some guy sucking him off.

It had been the next morning when Harry saw the pictures people had posted of Louis being lead into the bathroom, the stranger gripping his hand leading him. Harry stared at the pictures with blurry eyes. He can hear his phone beeping, no doubt Liam or Niall trying to make sure he’s okay because they’ve probably already seen it.

He can’t bring himself to pick up his phone though. He just leans against the kitchen counter and stares at the computer on the breakfast bar. Eventually Louis comes downstairs groaning and clutching his head, muttering about a hangover.

“Morning Hazza.” Louis says but Harry doesn’t reply.

 “Haz?” Louis tries again and Harry glances at him angrily then back at the computer.

Louis turns and looks at the screen and suddenly he’s not so worried about his hangover. He’s in some seriously deep shit.

“Harry I…” He starts but Harry shakes his head.

“Am I not good enough? Am I so bad you had to go find someone else?” Harry asks in a voice that’s cracking.

“No! Baby, don’t ever say that. You’re so amazing. I was drunk, so drunk… I’m so sorry Harry… I don’t even remember it happening. Please, I’m so sorry!” Louis pleads with wide eyes.

Harry sighs heavily. It’s just like back when they first met… he can’t not forgive Louis.

“Okay…” He replies nodding his head because he figures Louis really does mean it.

Louis hurries forward and hugs Harry around his neck tightly whispering thanks you’s and more I’m sorry’s.

~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~

The thing about Harry and Louis is they’re not official. Harry wants to be but Louis hasn’t asked. He can’t bring himself to care though when they’re cuddled against each other on the sofa, lazily kissing, while Louis runs his fingers through Harry’s hair softly. When he starts to bring up the topic of a relationship it ends minute later when Louis is pressing him against the wall, grinding against him. Harry tends to lose his train of thought and just let’s himself feel.

Maybe it’s a bit stupid. They hug, they kiss, they make out, they get each other off, and they do have sex, but they’re not dating. They’re not boyfriends. Harry wants to be, but he wants Louis to ask… he thinks Louis would want to ask since he’s older.

 

**“As I pace back and forth all this time cause I honestly believed in you…”**

Harry didn’t want to believe that Louis had taken a shine to one of his friends’ friends. He didn’t want to believe that Louis had heart eyes for the college student. He paced in his hotel room; waiting for Louis to come knocking at his door… it never happened that night.

In the morning when he woke up he was greeted by an empty bed; no sleepy blue eyes beside him. He trudged out of the hotel room and down to the hotel restaurant where they were having breakfast. To his surprise Louis was already there with the others and going on about something while the others listened.

“I mean she’s just amazing you know? We had so much fun last night; she’s so cute when she cuddles.” Louis says and the others nod, only half listening because he’s been going on for a full ten minutes now.

“Morning Harry!” Niall chirps, happy to stop Louis’ rambling.

“Morning Niall.” Harry greets and takes a seat next to him instead of next to Louis.

Louis gives him a confused look but goes back to eating and talking Zayn’s ear off who looks like he’d rather be anywhere else. Harry feels the exact same way. He feels Niall’s hand come to rest on his knee and give it a squeeze with a sympathetic look. Niall knows Harry doesn’t want to hear any of what Louis’ talking about, he’s always assumed there was something between the two of them.

Harry knew it had been stupid to think that something would develop between him and Louis; something real. But he had believed that Louis really did like him, of course now listening to him he thinks maybe he was just a shag and nothing more.

It’s later that same day, when they’re coming down from their concert highs that Harry finds himself pinned down by strong arms and lust filled blue eyes hovering over him in his hotel room.

“L-Louis…” Harry pants out as the older boy ground down into him.

Louis hums with his face buried in Harry’s neck and ruts into him harder. They’re both painfully hard in their jeans. Finally Louis reaches down and makes quick work of ridding them both of their clothes, tossing them to the floor carelessly. Once they’re skin on skin Louis shuffles down the bed until he’s face to face with Harry’s hard on. He kitten licks it a few times before taking him into his mouth and deep throating him immediately. Harry’s jaw goes slack and a gasp mixed with a moan escapes his swollen from kissing lips. Louis’ moving between his legs, taking him fully each time he goes down, and Harry’s got his hands in Louis’ hair just holding onto him.

Louis pulls off him he feels Harry’s thighs tremble, a sign that he’s close. He scrambles up so he’s straddling Harry’s waist and reaches behind himself to position Harry at his entrance. Harry looks at him shocked because is Louis really going to do that without prep?

“Lou…”

“Shh… I already prepped myself.” Louis hushes him and then drops down onto Harry’s hard on.

They both moan; Louis from feeling so full and Harry from the tight heat that’s surrounding him. Louis plants his hands on Harry’s shoulders and swivels his hips in little figure eights a few times before pushing up and dropping back down. It doesn’t take long before they’re both cumming with a cry of each others name.

Once they’re cleaned up they fall into bed and drift to sleep. When Harry awakes some time later during the night, Louis’ gone, the sheets are cold where he had previously been. Harry feels his eyes burn because he really had believed that Louis would stay.

 

**“Holding on, the days drag on Stupid boy, I should’ve known, I should’ve known…”**

The days after that night are rough. They’ve got a little free time and Louis’ taken off to spend time with Eleanor. He had been all smiles when telling the boys he was going to hang out with her. Once he had left Niall went to Harry’s room where the younger boy was lying on his bed staring blankly at the wall.

“Harry?” Niall questions closing the door and making his way over to the bed.

Harry glances at him and it’s all Niall needs to climb into the bed and pull the curly haired boy to his chest. Harry doesn’t protest, he just keeps staring at the wall ahead.

“I’m sorry Harry…” Niall mutters as he rubs his hand down Harry’s arm.

Instead of replying Harry just closes his eyes and lets Niall hold him, seeking some form of comfort.

The next day Louis meets them from breakfast as always and he seems to be glowing.

“Guess what!?” He exclaims taking a seat at the table.

“What?” Liam asks pausing mid bite.

“I asked her out and she said yes!” Louis says and both Niall and Harry freeze while Liam and Zayn congratulate him.

Niall looks over at Harry with concerned eyes and Harry just swallows thickly then shoves back his chair and hurries off.

“What’s wrong with him?” Louis asks startled by Harry’s exit.

“He um he wasn’t feeling so good this morning.” Niall lies.

“Oh, I should go check on him.” Louis starts to get up but Niall stops him.

“No!” He says too quickly earning curious looks from the others. “I mean, I’ll go I’ve already finished eating. You eat Lou.”

And before Louis can protest, Niall is up and hurrying after Harry. When he finds him he’s curled up on top of his bed in the hotel room, muffling his sobs into a pillow.

“Harry… shit.” Niall murmurs rushing over and climbing onto the bed, pulling him into his arms.

“I’m so stupid Niall… I should’ve known, I should’ve known…”

 

**“Baby I was naïve, got lost in your eyes and never really had a chance…”**

It was a week after Louis had announced he was dating Eleanor that he came to Harry’s room and pressed him into the mattress, rutting against him desperately.

“Louis!” Harry whimpered trying to push the older boy off… this was wrong. “Louis stop!”

Louis’ movement halted immediately.

“What’s wrong Haz?” He questioned.

“You have a girlfriend Lou, we can’t do this…” Harry muttered avoiding Louis’ eyes.

“She doesn’t have to know…” Louis replies dipping his head so he can kiss and suckle Harry’s neck.

“Lou…” Harry says in a small voice.

Louis pulls back again and forces Harry to look him in the eyes. Harry feels like he’s falling into the ocean as he stares up into the blue orbs. He gets lost in them and almost doesn’t register Louis rocking his hips again questioningly.

“Okay…” Harry gives in because he’s so in love with those eyes, and he’s so lost in them that he just can’t so no even though it’s wrong.

 

**“My mistake, I didn’t know to be in love, you had to fight to have the upper hand…”**

It went on like that for months. Louis would go on dates with Eleanor, he would hold her hand, hug her, kiss her, laugh with her and then when he got back to the hotel he would go to Harry. He would slide into the younger boys’ bed and kiss his neck and shoulders until he woke up if he was asleep. It was a routine and Harry let it happen because no matter what he was so in love with Louis and he wanted to feel him and let him press him into the mattress. He let himself believe that he meant something.

As the months drug on he tried to get a hold of himself. He tried to distance himself from Louis. Harry tried to convince himself that he wasn’t in love with Louis and he tried to make himself quit letting Louis dominate him.

Harry went to Niall more and more. He would make sure that he was in Niall’s room at whatever hotel they were staying at whenever Louis went out on dates with Eleanor. Harry would knock on Niall’s door and Niall would let him in with a sad smile. Niall knew Harry was hurting inside and he knew Harry was trying but he understood that the heart wants what it wants.

“Haz, why do you do this to yourself?” Niall asks one night when Harry stumbles into his room.

Harry stares at him sadly and shrugs, “I just… I love him so much.”

Niall sighs and hands Harry a pair of pajama pants and gestures for him to go take a shower. He can tell by the way Harry’s hair is mused that he didn’t leave his room soon enough to avoid Louis. That happens at least once a week, sometimes more.

Once Harry has showered, he pulls on the pants Niall gave him, and they’re a bit too short but he can’t bring himself to care. He walks with his shoulders slouched over to the bed and climbs in beside Niall, curling against him immediately. Niall wraps his arms around Harry and cuddles him close. And that’s the thing about Niall, he knows Harry loves to be cuddled and he’s more than willing to give him what he wants and needs, because really… he needs it.

The next time turns out the same way. Harry thinks Louis will stay out longer since they have a free day tomorrow but he’s dead wrong. Louis walks into Harry’s room and his on him before he really even knows what’s going on. Just like always he gets lost in Louis and cums with a cry of Louis’ name. And just like that, Louis’ gone… the only trace of him being there is the soreness of Harry’s bum.

He crawls into Niall’s bed a while later and sobs into the blonde lads’ chest. Niall tells him he’s gotta stop and Harry knows this and he’s determined to… he’s got to because this is killing him.

 

**“I had so many dreams about you and me, happy endings…”**

It finally gets to Harry one day. They’re in the studio recording and Louis has his arms wrapped around Harry’s waist, one hand slipping under his shirt as he kisses Harry’s neck. It’s like a signal that Louis wants Harry to go to the bathroom where he’ll join him so they can get each other off.

And normally Harry would go. However. Louis’ room was right next door to Harry’s last night and he could hear everything going on through the thin walls. He knows exactly what happened in that room and how long it lasted. It’s not the first time, but it’s finally made him snap… his emotions have overflowed from the bottle he had them in.

“Stop.” Harry mutters pushing Louis’ hand away.

Louis persists though. He just strokes Harry’s side and drags his teeth against the junction of Harry’s neck and shoulder.

“Louis. Quit.” Harry says again with a little more edge in his voice.

“Why?” Louis whispers lowly into his ear.

“Because we’re in the studio.” Harry replies lamely.

“Sooo…” Louis whines quietly. “I want you…”

“Bullshit.” Harry growls growing a little more annoyed.

“What?” Louis asks pulling back looking shocked almost.

“You don’t want me.”

“Mmmm yes I do… I wanna feel your heat around me.” Louis murmurs, nipping at the shell of Harry’s ear.

“STOP!” Harry snaps and springs up out of the seat.

Everything goes quiet as the other boys look at them.

“That’s all I am to you isn’t it!? I’m just a fuck buddy aren’t I?” Harry all but yells at a very still Louis. “How’s your  _girlfriend_ feel about that Lou? Huh? Has she figured it out yet? Does she know we have sex after you get back from a date with her?”

“Course she doesn’t know!” Louis replies and glances at the others who are watching everything unfold.

“Don’t know what?” Eleanor’s voice sounds as she walks into the studio carrying Starbucks for all of them.

“Nothing.” Louis says quickly and gets up to kiss her and get his drink.

“Nothing aye?” Harry scoffs and Liam knows what’s about to happen but he can’t drink himself to stop it.

“Harry…” Louis’ tone is warning.

“Shut. Up.” Harry hisses then turns to Eleanor. “You wanna know what you don’t know?”

Eleanor glances around the room and then focuses back on Harry. Somehow she knows whatever he’s about to say is going to hurt but she feels like she needs to hear it. She nods at Harry.

“Harry.” Louis warns again but there’s a hint of pleading now.

Harry doesn’t even glance at Louis, he looks directly at Eleanor. “For the past ten months Louis and I have been having sex. We were before that but it didn’t stop after you guys started dating.”

Eleanor looks at him a bit shocked. She opens her mouth and closes it a few times but no words come out. She turns to Liam and holds out the tray holding the Starbucks drinks. Slowly she picks up one of the lattes and pops the top off. Turning to Louis she gives him the ultimate death glare and then promptly dumps the entire thing on him.

Eleanor turns back to Harry, “Thank you for being honest with me.” She turns to look at Louis again. “As if it wasn’t obvious, we’re done.”

She leaves after that; storming out of the studio. Louis is still in the same spot with latte dripping down his face and arms and all over his shirt.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He snaps at Harry suddenly and the others don’t move.

“What’s wrong with me?” Harry chuckles and then gets serious as he steps up to Louis and get’s in his face. “What’s wrong with me is YOU. I never had sex before you. I wasn’t in love with anybody until you so I let you take my virginity because I thought we had something. I fell in love with you more and more every day. I thought all the tender touches meant something and I thought all those nights meant something, but obviously they didn’t… you were just looking for a shag.”

Harry pauses to take a breath and Louis doesn’t say anything.

“You know, I had so many dreams about us. Together, in love, and happy because I thought we would be. I believed in you. I thought I had found the one, but I was just one of many to you. I had dreams about how amazing it would be to date you… marry you… love you. You hear that Louis? I’m in love with you but all I am to you is a fucking shag and I can’t deal with it anymore. I tired of being your fuck buddy. I’m tired of being used!” Harry exclaims not backing away from Louis’ face.

He rears back and looks at the others who look worried, especially Niall… he knows Harry has finally cracked.

“I’m going back to the hotel. I’m packing my stuff. And I’m leaving. I. Am. Done.” Harry says with eyes full of tears.

Before anybody can say anything he’s gone.

 

**“And there you are on your knees, begging for forgiveness, begging for me, just like I always wanted, but I’m so sorry…”**

Harry zips his suitcase and checks the room once more making sure he has everything. He can hardly see through his tears but he’s pretty sure he’s got everything.

He’s already called a cab and it’s waiting in front of the hotel for him. He grabs his suitcase and walks out of the room just as the others tumble out of the lift.

“Harry!” Liam exclaims running towards him with the others. “What are you doing?”

“Leaving.” Harry replies then walks in the direction of the lift.

“What do you mean leaving?” Zayn asks hesitantly.

Niall remains quiet because he knows exactly what Harry means.

“I’m going home.” Harry answers and it’s then Louis’ let’s out a dry, choked sob.

“You can’t go!” Louis says with an uneven voice. “I’m sorry! Please Harry, believe me, I’m sorry!”

Harry closes his eyes and keeps walking.

“Harry!” Louis cries out running after him. “Please stay! I didn’t know! I didn’t know! I’m sorry, please don’t leave!”

Harry whirls around and stares at Louis with disbelief, “How could you not know!? How could you look into my eyes and not know unless you’re blind? The others knew!”

“Please Harry!” Louis begs clinging to the front of Harry’s jumper with blue eyes wide. “Please don’t leave! I don’t want you to leave!”

Harry looks into Louis eyes and studies them. And he sees it… he sees that Louis knew. He sees, also, that Louis didn’t care that he cheated on Eleanor. That’s all Harry and Eleanor were… fuck buddies… they didn’t truly mean something. He knows right now Louis is probably feeling a little guilty but also he knows Louis just doesn’t want to lose his shagging buddy.

The decision is made in Harry’s head.

He takes hold of both Louis’ hand in one of his own and pries them off of his shirt. He keeps a tight hold on them as he grasps Louis’ chin with his other hand and kisses him hard because he knows that this is the last one. It has to be.

He releases him a moment later and walks away. The lift doors close before the others can get in but he knows they’re running down the stairs.

**“Cause I’m not your prince, this ain’t a fairytale, I’m not the one you sweep off his feet, leap him up the stairwell. This ain’t Hollywood, this is a small town. I was a dreamer before you went and let me down…”**

When he gets outside the cab is waiting and the others are right behind him. He puts his suitcase into the cab and then turns to them. Harry hugs Liam and Zayn tightly and promises them that he’ll call. He turns to Niall and hugs him tight and as close as possible. He knows Niall is crying.

“I’m sorry it has to be this way Ni…” Harry whispers into his ear.

“It’s okay Harry… I understand, I really do.” Niall replies with a sniffle.

Niall pulls back enough to rest his forehead against Harry’s and whispers, “I love you Haz.”

Harry’s eyes are full of tears as he nods and hugs Niall again tightly. When he pulls away he taps Niall’s nose with a sad smile then walks to the cab, completely ignoring Louis. The window in the cab is rolled down some and he can hear Louis’ pleas for him to come back as Liam keeps him from running to the car.

He looks back and sees Niall standing there with his face buried in Zayn’s shoulder as he cries. Harry smiles a little as he recalls Niall’s words and he knows Niall meant it. It warms his heart a bit and he thinks that maybe there’s hope for him and it comes in the form of blonde hair, blue eyes, and an Irish accent. He thinks maybe that’s his future.

Harry pulls a picture out of his pocket. It’s of him and Louis. He’s in a black coat and Louis in a blue plaid shirt. They’re got an arm around each other and are smiling happily at the camera. Louis has a blue blanket and Harry has a pink one. He rips the picture in half, tearing them apart. The only reason he can do it is because he knows he has another copy of the picture, a few actually just in case. 

Harry takes the two halves and pushes them out of the window as the cab pulls away from the curb. He looks back and watches as they float to the ground and Louis finally breaks free of Liam. Harry watches Louis run to the pieces of paper and then he’s on his knees calling out Harry’s name while the others crowd around him.

Harry turns away and blinks back tears. His heart is literally in a billion pieces and he’s not sure if anybody will be able to ever put it back together. The cab driver looks at him with concern.

“Where to son?” he asks gently.

“Home.” Harry replies in barely a whisper.

The cab driver nods because he understands that Harry means the airport. Harry chokes out a sob as he leans his head against the window and squeezes his eyes closed. It hurts. It hurts so bad, but he can’t do it anymore, he can’t keep fooling himself. He can’t keep looking at Louis every day. He can’t keep hearing that sweet voice every day. He can’t keep looking into those blue eyes. He can’t be anything with Louis. So as the cab pulls into traffic… he doesn’t look back.

Liam’s got Louis wrapped in his arms as they older boy remains on the ground with the two halves of the picture clenched in his fist. Zayn taps Liam on the shoulder with the hand that’s not holding Niall and when Liam looks up at him he points. Liam looks in the direction, as does Louis and they watch as the cab with Harry in it pulls away. Louis cries harder, but the others can’t find it in themselves to have sympathy for him as they watch the cab pull into the traffic and then… Harry’s gone.

**“Now it’s too late for you and your white horse… to catch me now…”**


End file.
